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I have a page-a-day calendar I got for myself of "anguished English". I haven't been reading it every day, I've been too distracted. So today I am catching up for three or four days. I really like Thursday's:
"These warheads must be stored with the top at the bottom and the bottom at the top. In order that there may be no doubt as to which is the top and which is the bottom, for storage purposes the bottom of each head has been labeled with the word TOP."
Or Friday's gem, from a newspaper correction, which is less 'anguished English' (the words are fine and were fine), and more 'omigod you screwed WHAT up?': "Unfortunately, the illustrations of edible and poisonous types of mushrooms were reversed on page 14 of our Sunday edition."
"These warheads must be stored with the top at the bottom and the bottom at the top. In order that there may be no doubt as to which is the top and which is the bottom, for storage purposes the bottom of each head has been labeled with the word TOP."
Or Friday's gem, from a newspaper correction, which is less 'anguished English' (the words are fine and were fine), and more 'omigod you screwed WHAT up?': "Unfortunately, the illustrations of edible and poisonous types of mushrooms were reversed on page 14 of our Sunday edition."
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