Thank you.

[kyrielle]

Thank you to everyone who has replied so far (and anyone who does so in the future!) to either of the posts about Babe from yesterday. I may try to reply to each of you, and I may not. Right now I just want to stare and cry a little, both touched and still hurting, so for now...I wanted to acknowledge how much your kindness and your words mean, but one post for everyone is about what I can manage as yet.

The photos from Sunday where I'm holding her show the tail-tip I used to tease at also. This pleases me.

I came down this morning knowing she wouldn't be here, but being greeted by the sound of a jingle-ball and a thudding Apple is not the same as coming downstairs and seeing Babe, ensconced in the blankets, raise her head and look my way. (Before I got up, I imagined that scenario and walked over and petted her in my mind. Maybe, somewhere, she knew and appreciated it. I hope so.)

I was surprised, doing the second photo last night, how good she looked as recently as mid-September or even last week. She really did go downhill quite a bit the last few days (although I was not choosing photos that showed that more than I had to, I admit). It was the right decision, if maybe not the perfect timing, then close. (The vet originally offered an afternoon appointment, and I asked if we could do morning so I wouldn't have to leave her alone all day. In retrospect, I should have taken it - left Scott with her - gone to work and grabbed my laptop and come home - and worked from home next to the cat all day, petting and coddling her. Then again, if I'd done that and she'd been miserable by afternoon, I'd've felt awful. There's really no way to know. Still...I could have had her beside me for a few hours longer, that way.)

As an aside, I love this icon for these posts. Black and white, like her, and a big ol' kitty hug. Seems appropriate for the snuggle-Babe.

Comments

[mdlbear]

*hug*

[eevieivy.livejournal.com]

*hugs* *hugs* and *hugs*

[phoenixscribe.livejournal.com]

May I say, dear friend, please don't second guess your decision or any part of it. Know that you did what you felt was best at the time.

She had you there until she left. That's all that really matters to her.

[kyrielle]

I know. And a few more hours wouldn't have added much to her life. If I could have given her days, weeks, months - yes. Hours, no.

But I can't help wishing I'd done it otherwise, not for her but for me. I want to hold her and pet her one last time. I'd still want that if I'd taken the later appointment, but I'd have had time with her that I didn't have.

And if I'd done it, and she'd suffered because it was too long, that would've been the only measurable effect to her and it would have been very hard to forgive myself. I probably made the right decision. But I still wish I could have held her a little longer. I miss her so.

[davmoo.livejournal.com]

When Sammy died I wanted to have him cremated and not just put him out like so much trash or take him to the local abandoned animal places where they would do the same. The problem was at that time no one locally did pet cremation. So I had to take him to Louisville. Also at that time we were having snow and ice problems along with cold weather that never got above freezing even during the day time, thus ice would not melt. So Sammy ended up staying in the unheated garage for three weeks, frozen because of the air temperature, with a blanket over him, until it was safe to drive that far. And pretty much every time I went in the garage to go somewhere locally until then, I'd stop and pet his body for 10 minutes or so.

So if anyone tells you that you're being strange for "pretend petting" Babe, you have company :-)

[phoenixscribe.livejournal.com]

Understood. *hugs*