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It's hard, seeing how thin mother is. She was thin before, of course; she wasn't eating well. The diagnosis didn't change that. But I think she is thinner. I know she is shakier and weaker - last week she was still using regular glasses, and I wondered how long that would continue. This week she is using a cup with a lid and a straw. She still handles it on her own, but her hand shakes sometimes very noticeably, and this keeps it from spilling.
She's still smoking, but no longer as much as before. This isn't cutting back (which would be, actually, fairly pointless now) - it's logistics. She can no longer hold the cigarette to her lips as easily or as long because of hand shake, and Dad is lighting them for her.
She talks less now. Gestures more, with head and eyes and an occasional motion of the hand. I know she had a sore throat at one point, it may be that or something else uncomfortable, I don't know.
She still is reading, still is alert and herself and she picks up her own drinks and her own cigarette, even if shakily. She still teases the cat - Basta was on the foot of the bed as usual and Mom reached out her hand and tugged gently on the tip of her tail. Cat's head comes up, Mom's hand relaxes. Cat looks around, puts head back down. Tug tail. Etc. Only a few plays, but still. She's also taken to twitching her foot side-to-side these past 2-3 weeks just to see if it disturbs Basta. Sometimes it produces an amusing Offended reaction from the cat but more often she purrs. Any attention is good attention in Basta's world, I think....
Today I asked for Mom's permission to take her picture. I expected to be told no, as she has never liked having her picture taken even when she looked her best, and generally because she thinks she looks awful in photographs. But she told me yes. So I now have pictures of Mom awake as well. I haven't loaded them onto the computer yet to see if they came out, of course....
I took food over. We have a Harry & David subscription for fruit, and I take some over for them. So this time two pears and an apple (which is all they wanted - Dad is diet-controlled diabetic so many of the treats are mostly for mother). Scott's parents brought food with them (they are visiting this weekend) also and some of that has gone to my parents as well (and still we have more than I think we can possibly eat before it goes off - but that is the power of the gaming groups, office, and/or friends - it will get eaten). So I took over two oranges, about a half-pound of smoked Gouda cheese, and a variety of cookies. Hopefully some of it will tempt Mom into eating. Or at least make for good eating when she would have been hungry anyway.
I also took over three cans of cat food as treats for Basta and Babe. I was careful to tell Dad that they were not for Mom, which got some laughter. So did the tag line of the brand, along with some groans: "Let byproducts be bygones." Hee.
And of course I took over a neatly-wrapped package that contained four pairs of genuine bayberry candles (80% bayberry wax, 20% beeswax, anyway). Mom loves bayberry - the real stuff, not the fake. I finally found a source just last year. She's gone without since the last one she had burned down when I was in my teens - but we were looking for pillars, like she had. Not sure how she got a pillar, everything I read says they aren't made because of the way the wax is and get tapers. Anyway, I got tapers and she agreed they were right and she loved them. So this year there were eight candles for them. (I ordered five pair - the fifth for me and Scott. Now that I have smelled them properly, I like them too.)
I am thinking ahead to December 20. It will be my parents' 40th anniversary. I am thinking of gift certificates but also other small tokens. I think at least one of those will be a container of 40 marbles - just some of the ones they've lost over the years, some being my fault. I will need to write up a little note to that effect just in case, though I think they'll get it without the note.
Dad put up a miniature 'Christmas Tree' that is shaped rosemary. It is quite cute.
She's still smoking, but no longer as much as before. This isn't cutting back (which would be, actually, fairly pointless now) - it's logistics. She can no longer hold the cigarette to her lips as easily or as long because of hand shake, and Dad is lighting them for her.
She talks less now. Gestures more, with head and eyes and an occasional motion of the hand. I know she had a sore throat at one point, it may be that or something else uncomfortable, I don't know.
She still is reading, still is alert and herself and she picks up her own drinks and her own cigarette, even if shakily. She still teases the cat - Basta was on the foot of the bed as usual and Mom reached out her hand and tugged gently on the tip of her tail. Cat's head comes up, Mom's hand relaxes. Cat looks around, puts head back down. Tug tail. Etc. Only a few plays, but still. She's also taken to twitching her foot side-to-side these past 2-3 weeks just to see if it disturbs Basta. Sometimes it produces an amusing Offended reaction from the cat but more often she purrs. Any attention is good attention in Basta's world, I think....
Today I asked for Mom's permission to take her picture. I expected to be told no, as she has never liked having her picture taken even when she looked her best, and generally because she thinks she looks awful in photographs. But she told me yes. So I now have pictures of Mom awake as well. I haven't loaded them onto the computer yet to see if they came out, of course....
I took food over. We have a Harry & David subscription for fruit, and I take some over for them. So this time two pears and an apple (which is all they wanted - Dad is diet-controlled diabetic so many of the treats are mostly for mother). Scott's parents brought food with them (they are visiting this weekend) also and some of that has gone to my parents as well (and still we have more than I think we can possibly eat before it goes off - but that is the power of the gaming groups, office, and/or friends - it will get eaten). So I took over two oranges, about a half-pound of smoked Gouda cheese, and a variety of cookies. Hopefully some of it will tempt Mom into eating. Or at least make for good eating when she would have been hungry anyway.
I also took over three cans of cat food as treats for Basta and Babe. I was careful to tell Dad that they were not for Mom, which got some laughter. So did the tag line of the brand, along with some groans: "Let byproducts be bygones." Hee.
And of course I took over a neatly-wrapped package that contained four pairs of genuine bayberry candles (80% bayberry wax, 20% beeswax, anyway). Mom loves bayberry - the real stuff, not the fake. I finally found a source just last year. She's gone without since the last one she had burned down when I was in my teens - but we were looking for pillars, like she had. Not sure how she got a pillar, everything I read says they aren't made because of the way the wax is and get tapers. Anyway, I got tapers and she agreed they were right and she loved them. So this year there were eight candles for them. (I ordered five pair - the fifth for me and Scott. Now that I have smelled them properly, I like them too.)
I am thinking ahead to December 20. It will be my parents' 40th anniversary. I am thinking of gift certificates but also other small tokens. I think at least one of those will be a container of 40 marbles - just some of the ones they've lost over the years, some being my fault. I will need to write up a little note to that effect just in case, though I think they'll get it without the note.
Dad put up a miniature 'Christmas Tree' that is shaped rosemary. It is quite cute.
